Space guns and spice

And NOT always nice. Grrr.

I’m frustrated. And disgruntled. Maybe a little angry even at stupid gender . . . expectations. Or roles? I’m not sure what the right word is.

My daughter Madeleine is in first grade and every week they have Sharing, which is what we called Show And Tell, back in the day. So every week she takes in something special to share with the class. By SHOWING it to them and TELLING them about it. Heh.

Recently, when getting her ready for school, I asked “What are you taking in for Sharing today?” And she threw up her hands and said, “I don’t know! I want to take my space gun, but I can’t.”

Me: Why not?

Madeleine: Because girls can’t like space guns.

Me: WTF?! No, not really. I said, “Of course girls can like space guns. You like space guns.”

Madeleine: But girls aren’t supposed to. None of the other girls like them.

Me: LOTS of girls like space guns! You know how much Mommy likes space guns! And I’m a girl.

Her: Loud laughter. I don’t know if it was the reminder that I like space guns or the fact that I called myself a girl. Then she said, “But none of the girls in my CLASS like space guns. And if I bring mine in, they’ll laugh at me. And the boys will think I’m weird.”

Me: Maybe the other girls like space guns too, but they’re afraid to show it, like you’re afraid to show it. They’re afraid people will laugh at them. I bet they would really like your space gun. It’s cool. I bet everyone in class would like it, even your teacher.

I think she thought that over because she was quiet for a while. Then she said, “I want to take my white kitty.” I said, “Why don’t you take your space gun this time and then white kitty next time?” She shook her head and said firmly, “No. I really want to take my white kitty.” I said “Okay!” in a chipper voice because it’s her decision, her sharing time, and I didn’t want to make her feel like Mommy hates white kitty.

But I’m sad that she’s already under this kind of social pressure. And already has this narrow idea of what girls like and what boys like forming.

Disturbed by Moms

No, no, not disturbed by MOM, although I’m sure those posts will come again.

My middle child wants to take some kind of martial arts class. (And to those of you who know, or know of, my middle child, and think us signing him up for martial arts will one day lead to DOOM, I say, yes. I know. But as the mother of our future Evil Overlord I have to be supportive. Plus maybe he’ll give me my own lair!)

So I was checking out some local message boards that discuss things like the best gymnastics, ballet, martial arts classes for children. Boards chiefly posted to by Moms.

And a thread popped up wherein a mother was complaining about her children being bullied by neighborhood children. They had pushed her kids and called them names. And the advice she got . . . was surprising. Everyone, EVERY. ONE. Of the other mothers suggested teaching her kids to hit back. Or kick back. Or pull hair. My favorite was the mother who has taught all her children to “hit them in the throat.” No one asked if she’d talked to the parents of the bullies. And she never said she had. She’d apparently dealt with the bullying by calling her kids inside.

And I guess after that thread, she taught them to kick bullies in the groin and hit them in the throat.

And THEN! On my same search, a thread popped up titled “Do you let your kids watch Spongebob?” And almost every reply was along the lines of “ABSOLUTELY NOT!” They hate that show. It teaches kids bad things. Is a bad influence. One mother justified letting her kids watch because “Sponge Bob works really hard. He’s often Employee of the Month.”

I am deeply disturbed. I wonder if any of these mothers reside in my area.

And in completely different land, let us all hope-hope-hope that tonight’s Battlestar Galactica will rock and not be a pale pathetic thing, like it was last week. My own hopes are up, since it looks like it will be Starbuck-centric. I have no hopes for Dollhouse, although I’ll give it another go. Why am I giving it another go? Hmm. Not sure. I think I’m in disbelief that it’s as bad as it is.